- NBA Mascot Disparity- One of the ties that professional franchises possess is a mascot or nickname that reflects the local community. The Houston Rockets are a great example. Houston is the home to NASA's space control center, and the nickname reminds all of us. Not all teams have this significance tied to their mascot (Golden State Warriors, I'm looking at you), but for those that do, it is a reminder to the home fans that the franchise has roots in the community. When professional leagues moved franchises, they often took those nicknames with them, creating a jumbled mess of anachronistic mascots. So I would change them. First on the list is the Utah Jazz. Despite the fact that this franchise has been in Salt Lake City nearly all of its 38 years of existence, the name "Jazz" belongs in New Orleans. Coincidentally, the franchise that currently resides in the Big Easy has the nickname Hornets. This works well with the fact that Utah's nickname is the Beehive State. I would make the franchises switch mascots. Problem solved. The L.A. Lakers (formerly of Minnesota- Land of 1,000 lakes) would be renamed the Showtime. It hearkens back to the 80's teams, and plays on the entertainment industry. Problem solved. Also up for changes: Washington Wizards (change back to Bullets- it makes more sense anyway), L.A. Clippers (I would move them to San Diego, where they belong and the mascot makes more sense), Charlotte Bobcats (one of the dumbest mascots ever- change to Monarchs), and the Memphis Grizzlies (this whole team should be moved to Oklahoma City instead of the Supersonics and renamed the Cyclones).
- Possession Arrow- One of the worst things about college basketball; this one is much less complicated. Get rid of the arrow and teach refs how to throw the ball up. Case closed.
- Timeouts- Staying with NCAA basketball, I would limit teams to 2 30-second timeouts in the last 2 minutes of the game. While most advertisers would choke, it would increase the entertainment value for the consumer. What a concept. To mollify advertisers, ads could be placed, via computer graphics, on the floor or team jerseys during the broadcast.
- The BCS- Ugh. What a travesty. I will expand this thought later, but suffice it to say right now that the system would be scrapped in favor of a 16 team playoff featuring the winners of the 11 Division I-A football conferences and 5 at large teams. Early rounds would be played at the home stadium of the higher seed before exams, with the championship game played in the week in between the NFL conference championships and the Super Bowl.
- Pro Football Hall of Fame- As I started writing this, I was really excited about kicking guys out of the HOF, but realized there is only one guy I feel passionately enough about to actually go through with it. Joe Namath, you are the winner. I would give him his own little display documenting the guarantee and the win over the Colts in Super Bowl III, but no QB with more career INT's than TD's belongs in the Hall. Period. Can I kiss you? Other changes to the HOF-admit more Offensive Linemen. How do QB and RB get all their stats? The Pug Uglies up front. As of 2008, there were 48 QB and RB's in the Hall*, while only 33 OL made the cut. This is especially disgusting when you consider that there are 5 OL on the field, and 2 backs. *from the modern era
- Excessive Celebration- This penalty has been adopted by both the NCAA and the NFL. It is a ludicrous rule, and would be abolished. A taunting penalty would replace it, allowing for celebrations that have nothing to do with the other team to remain in place. For example, the Dirty Bird, Fun Bunch*, and other collective celebrations would be allowed, while throwing the ball at an opponent or standing above them after a tackle would not. *I hate to admit this, but the one thing I disown the quickest about the Cowboys is the punk move that resulted in the adoption of this rule in the NFL. You don't want the other team to celebrate? Don't let them score.
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